Dream

I had the most bizarre dream last night. It was rather depressing.

My mom told me that my dad's death was a huge conspiracy. Everything about it was fake. She had gotten a fake dead body crafted for the wake and funeral, and had everyone believe he had truly died. She didn't want to tell my brother, myself, or anyone else that he really just wanted to leave us all. When I asked "well then, is he alive right now?" she replied with an "I don't even know, I figured if he was he would have come back at some point."

I remember in the dream so vividly feeling such a strange rush of emotions. I didn't know whether to be royally pissed that he chose to leave us and didn't actually die, or to be ecstatic that he was alive and try to find him. This would mean I could tell him how I'd been and he could get to know me as an actual adult with my own thoughts, opinions, and feelings instead of just a 9 year old girl when he last saw me, who barely had her own personality. He could hear about all of my accomplishments and future goals and maybe be proud.

I was so freaked out when I woke up. For a second, I forgot that it had just been a dream and I wanted to start trekking the world to find him.

In other news, I just got my financial aid packet from NYU. I'm really liking what I'm seeing.

I really wanna do something tonight but no idea what and no one to do it with.
Any takers?